Dear 4D kids,
Do you feel shocked to see an article in Chinese in JC's blog ? Anyway, it's all because the message it conveys is very educational and meaningful to your parents and teachers, like me ! Reading the article, I felt upset and even a bit hair-raising .....It's really time for us to reflect on how we're bringing up our next generation !
P.S. Can you please also share it with your parents ?
(來源: 新大眾文摘)
孩子,請你搬走吧!
孩子,
今天你又裝作若無其事地,暗示媽媽,說市中區的房價,又在飆升,如果再不行動,或許以後你和女友,連一間棲息的小屋都沒有。
我淡淡地看你一眼,終於沒有像你希望的那樣,說出「媽媽給你們買」的話來。而你,也在這樣尷尬的沉默裡,即刻氣嘟嘟地放下碗筷,摔門出去。我從窗戶裡看著你遠去的背影,瘦削,懶散,有些玩世和任性,你還是賴在父母懷裡,始終不肯獨立。可是,親愛的孩子,你已經25歲,一份穩定的工作,一個需要呵護的女友,兩個日益老去的父母,難道這些,還不足以讓你成熟,承擔一個成人該擔負的責任?
從很小的時候,你就習慣有事來找媽媽。
5歲的時候,你要媽媽幫你整理扔得到處都是的玩具;
10歲的時候,看見同學腳上氣派的皮鞋,就哭鬧著讓我也去買來;
15歲的時候,你寫情書給班裡的女孩子,說,我媽媽認識很多的人,誰要是欺負你,儘管告訴我,
20歲的時候,你讀大學,每次打電話來都是抱怨,說食堂的飯菜如此糟糕,為什麼不給我多寄些營養品?
今年25歲的你,在一次與同學閒聊裡,很驕傲地說,我爸媽早已給我備好了買房的錢,我即便是不怎麼奮鬥,也一樣可以過得很好。每一次我都寬容地笑笑,就淡忘掉了。
我習慣了聽你的吩咐,只以為,對你的每一滴好,你自會記得,且在將來我們老去,你已壯年的時候,可以得到你的細心照料。可是而今,你日日回家蹭飯,又時常將女友帶回家來久住,讓依然工作的我,還要為你們的一日三餐奔波勞累。這樣的景況,終於讓我連一絲的微笑,都無法擠出。我發現,這樣苦掉自己,全力為你的方式,只是使你心底的自私和懶惰,愈是潛滋暗長,無沿無邊。
我終於承認,25年來對你無節制的寵愛,是一個多麼大的錯誤。有一次開玩笑,我說媽媽或許活不到你娶妻生子呢,你一下子便急,說,那怎麼行,將來誰給我們洗衣做飯,誰給我們照料孩子? 當時的我,有一種無法言說的憂傷。原來當我們老掉,依然還要為你繼續操勞,直到生命的終點。我們不是養育了一隻日漸豐滿有力的雄鷹,而是一個寄居的蟲子,它要將滋養了它的鮮嫩的骨頭,一直啃到乾枯腐朽,再無營養。
親愛的孩子,我不得不殘忍地告訴你,你的上半生,與我息息相關,而你以後的道路,我將不再過問。媽媽已經將兼職的工作辭掉,我不能為了你的幸福,而將自己退休後的悠閒時光,交給繼續為你掙錢買房的苦痛中。也請你,從父母的身邊搬走,用自己的薪水租房去住。孩子,媽媽抱歉,不該這樣愛你。而你,也應對那些將父母啃到疲憊的往昔感到愧疚。且讓我們,彼此原諒,彼此放手。
我无法原谅您, 妈妈.
妈妈,
当今天我有意无意的暗示您我需要您的资助买房子时您显露出的那种模样真令我失望。
从小,您对我无微不至。在我成长的年龄当中,我从无需做任何的思考或决定,因为您都会将一切都打点、盘算好,而我就坐在那儿坐享其成就好。您呵护我、关爱我。您从不曾肯给我任何做主的机会。您担心我算错、做错。我就是在您那么一片苦心下成长。
从很小的時候,您就习惯性的帮我处理生活大小事件:
5岁的时候,您没培养起我收拾玩具的习惯。您总认为我还小,所以总是在我背后我丢一件,您拾一件的将家里打理得井井有条。
10岁的时候,看见同学脚上气派的皮鞋,我就哭闹着让您也去买来。您为了爱我,也就百般迁就。
15岁的时候,您告诉我若学校里有什么解决不了的问题我可以依赖您的社交网加以解决,所以我也将如此消息告诉班里的同学。
您就是一个那么了不起的母亲,您任劳任怨的肯成为我成长中无所不在的拐杖、安全网,而我也顺理成章把您当成如此这般。
我原有一切能成为一只丰满有力的雄鹰, 但在您的溺爱下,我渐渐地成为一個寄居的虫子。如今,您醒悟了,肯放手了,我顿时感到惊慌失措,因我从未有独立的能力。
溺爱我,是您的大错。对不起,妈妈,我无法原谅您。把我养成今日这副没骨气的模样是您这些年的错误育儿方式朔成的。您误了我25年可健全学习做人的时光,我实在无法原谅您。所以如今您肯放手了,但我却不肯。您必须为我的一辈子负责,就让我们彼此继续耗下去吧,直到您生命结束的那一天为止。
2009-09-11
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I feel shocked too,I can't believe that a man as
ReplyDeleteinferior as this.When I was about 2 years old,I was living on roof with my parsents ,there were poor and there had no lift,so everyday we had to walk about twenty floors to our house.And I remember that every time I ask mum or dad to carry me ,they wouldn't agree,whatever how tired I was.They wouldn't connive me.When I was in kid garden,I was living with my granny and grand pa.They were too quite and they didn't talk a lot,but I learnt patience when I was living with them.At my primary 3,I was living alone at home for a long time.They just came back at night and I could say goodbye to them at the morning.And I had to do housework and cook by myself.I had learnt how to stay alone.After this,I was living in relative's house and back to home for a sleep everyday and I had to play with their daughter whether I didn't like to play with her,but I knew how to be good with others.SO,my parsent hadn't connived me,I remember one time my mum nearly broke my arm because I played computer game for a very long time.I thank them made me became a strong,brave and optimistic boy. Anyway,I hope there will not have any classmate become the man in this article.
I think the mother’s son didn’t know about what his mother wants. It’s because he didn’t want to separate between him and his mother. His mother was tired because she had to work for giving money to her son. However, her son didn’t notice that his mother was very fed up with doing this and she wanted to have a rest. So I think the son was too depending on his mother. This is one of the examples of “the strawberry which grows in a greenhouse”.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, I’m not the boy such as him because my mother wouldn’t help me to clear my toys when I aged five. Also I had never asked her to help me when I had any problems. I think the mother shouldn’t think their sons or daughters are strawberries. They will face a lot of problems when they are growing up. If they look after their sons or daughters all the time, they will depend on their parents when they are adults. Therefore, the parents should let their children face problems when they are young. It’s because the problems which they will face when they aren’t students are more different than their problems facing nowadays.
Parents bring up their children hardly because they want their children can be a useful and good citizen. So they shouldn’t spoil the children and the children should learn to be independent and repay the kindness from their parents.
hi! ms joe chan
ReplyDeleteafter reading this article, i realized that i am a bit similar to the son that i am well protected by my parents very much,espically my mum.
First,about half year ago, i am not allowed to back home myself.At that time , when i got on the bus after school,i had to phone my mum and she would call my maid to pick me up at the bus stop since she didn't allow me to take lift myself ( she thought i would be caught by someone)and worried me would be in accident.
However ,things have changed since my maid was fired half year ago. Do you remember last year i sat at the MI room for the whole afternoon and you asked me why i did't back home and i anwsered that because i can't back home myself.However,as i was very sick ,i finally back home myself.And this was the first time i back home alone.Although i can back home by myself now, my mum set another rule that i need to call her before i take the lift and after get into my home.I usually obey all the above instructions set by my mum ,except one that i am not allowed to take lift with man which is stated that if there are both me and a stranger man waiting for the lift ,then i need to wait another lift.It is very inconvenient and a bit non-sense.
Secondly, my mum doesn't encourage me hanging out with my friends.In her mind ,i may in danger all the time.For example, i am not allowed to go swimming with my friends as she thinks i will drown.she doesn't let me to go cyling with my friends since she thinks i will crush. She doesn't allow me to go to the bench with my friends because she thinks i will be caught by the waves and be drown in the sea.
Some of my friends think my parents are strict but i don't feel the same way.I am glad to be their daughter and feel very thankful to them for raising me up and giving me a no-worries environment to grow up .If you ask me do i jealous my friends that they can hung out with friends,i will properly say don't as i enjoy the time with my family very much.
Dear Tin Long,
ReplyDeleteSo I think I've really made a good choice choosing you as our monitor as you've learnt to be independent, accomodating, considerate, brave, patient and hardworking in different ways ! Anyway, I hope you can try to further equip yourself with the followings from now on: organizational power, initiative, concentration, communication skills and leadership 8-) Hope your duties, the OLE activities and the coming 3-year with all of us can provide you with an ideal breeding ground for the above qualities ! Do your best !!
Hi Yi Ching,
ReplyDeleteIn some ways I do agree with your mom as I'm doing exactly the same things to my daughter ! I find the article educational as I've started making her be more independent like packing up schoolbag everyday and taking care of her books and even appearance ! Yet, HK isn't really a safe city, to me and your mom ! Safety is the top priority !!
Dear Tak Jing,
ReplyDeleteHope all children are as mature as you !It's great you mentioned the term "strawberries" here. Your generation is always nicknamed "the strawberry generation" as many of you are fragile and vulnerable. You are pretty right that you kids need to be well-prepared for more challenges in the future and remember to take god care of your parents when they are getting older and older !
看完這篇文章,有感好像發生在自己身上.其實身為父母,樣樣以子女為先.孩子的成長日日不同,身為父母每天像上課一樣,每天都要面對孩子的成長變化.是好是壞,是一種未知之素.
ReplyDelete孩子要體諒父母,不應埋怨父母的不是.而父母不應過分溺愛子女,兩者取一平衡,互相體諒,過著愉快的一生.
(the above comment is typed by my mom.)
hi ms joechan
First , i would like to say sorry to you as i know chinese is not allowed on your blog.However, my mom said she could not express her feeling in english completely.To show my regret, i try to translate the comment in english:
After reading this article , it just liked what has happened on me.As a parent, children are my top priority . The growing of children change everyday.Being a parent just like having a lesson that we need to face the diffenert changes appear on our children everyday, it is an unknown question whether the changes are good or not.
I think children should show understanding for their parents and shouldn't complain the faults of their parents ;parents should't spoil their children.When we take the balance bewteen them and show understanding towards each other ,then can have a happy life.